This is a reblog from somewhere else. But the principles are the same. How often do you hear racists, sexual racists, and homophobes start sentences with:

“I’m not racist or discriminating BUT….”

That’s the language racists use before they say something racist.

It’s identical to: “No Asians. Sorry. It’s just a preference.”


“Coz you look like a top….”

It’s not a surprise that a majority of the internalised homophobia online comes from men who’s preference is to be “the bottom”.

You will rarely come across a guy who states he’s a bottom, its often stated as “Bottom/Versatile” (yes, feel free to roll your eyes immediately). Most guys can’t even bring themselves to write the word “bottom”. They will use the abbreviation “btm” instead. Or try to butch it up a little by calling themselves a “catcher” looking for a “pitcher”. Or the even more ridiculous “little spoon” looking for a “big spoon” (honestly…) There’s even a sizeable percentage of men who are so uncomfortable about their bottomy selves they will tell you they are a total strict nasty daddy top, but after drilling down a bit (no pun intended!) you discover that they are Ms Nelly Bottom, hailing all the way from the Corner of Bottom and Catcher Streets, Bottom-Town.

Why is this? Why are most of the internal homophobes “catchers”? Why won’t most of them just state “I’m a bottom.” ?

I’ve been thinking about this for a while lately. And then it hit me. Like with so many other fucked-up aspects of the gay world, the concepts of top and bottom are heavily laced with the same kind of sexist and homophobic conditioning as everything else.

See, in the “normal” hetero world, the dude sticks his dick INTO the chick, missionary style if you please. This is considered NORMAL. It’s drummed into everyone from the get-go.

Dude = masculine tough guy who sticks his dick into chicks. STUD.

Chick = feminine, subservient slave who gets dicks stuck into her. SLUT.

And as anyone with a slightly conscious brain and a moderate amount of emotional intelligence will tell you, this concept is not only seriously fucked up, it is plain wrong.

We are humans and are capable of an enormous variety of expression along the entire spectrum of masculinity and femininity. Every single one of us can express the entire range if we choose. But this stupid society, (in a desperate effort to keep the man in charge), tries to force each and every one of us into a narrow expression of:




So the other day, someone online told me I looked like a top. I asked, “how do I look like a top?” And he replied, “because you look so built and massive, real manly.”

And I thought firstly, “Cool!” But I also felt pissed off and didn’t know why. I thought, “But I’m NOT a top, I like it both ways.” And I realised that this bottom-guy, who insisted his men be “manly” (I bet he likes the term “straight acting”) had mixed the two concepts together.

To him, Top = Masculine. And that implies, once again, that Bottom = Feminine. 

And there you have it. To a lot of these bottom guys, they are uncomfortable being a bottom because of the shitty concept that to “have a dick stuck into you” is somehow to be a “chick” which means somehow you are not a “dude”. GET IT?

Unfortunately with this concept, that dick hanging between their legs makes them a dude. And so there’s a real problem here with bottom guys embarrassed with their sexual preferences expressing internalised homophobia as a means of distancing themselves from society’s concept that to take it means you are less than a man.

We need to get over this!

We need to move on and develop our own GAY CONCEPTS where we can be proud of who we are as our own unique SEX – the SEX of GAY. We are all gay men. Some like to give it, some like to take it, and some like a whole bunch of other things too. Every single one of us, regardless of sexual role in the sheets, is a man, and is free to express himself in any way he likes, along the entire spectrum of masculine and feminine.

We need to stop equating masculinity with being the top, and femininity with being the bottom. These concepts do not serve us, and only cause us to hate ourselves. All consenting sexual expression is beautiful, and its time to be proud of the way you express that.

We need to free ourselves from all the bullshit of the heteronormative society, simply because IT DOES NOT FIT US AS MEN and it DOES NOT SERVE US AS PEOPLE!

“I’m Told I’m Straight Acting…”

Today’s internal homophobic award goes to the dude who wrote the above statement.

His profile was a rant of self-hating nonsense, but the above statement really stood out. He said it with such pride. “I’m told I’m straight acting,” said with the same tone as one might state, “I’m told I’m good looking,” or “I’m told I’m a good speller.”

I wrote to him and said, “Being told you’re straight-acting is not a compliment.” I just wanted to see what the reaction would be, because of course I knew already he would have no concept of what internalised homophobia was.

And yes, you guess it, the response was typical. “Well its better than being told you’re some kind of nancy-queen. I’m glad I’m not that.”

There you have it folks, straight from the straight-acting boy’s mouth. The venom with which he stated “nancy-queen”, and the fear he has of being identified as the same.

It’s really that simple. Society makes fun of effeminate men. Society brainwashes us all into thinking that to be gay is to be effeminate. Ergo every gay man in this society develops a complex whereby he fears that he will be ridiculed for being gay, because gay is equated with effeminate behaviour.


Masculinity and femininity are not confined to one sexuality or gender. They are extremely broad ranges of expression that find themselves in all men, all women, and all sexualities. Masculinity (or the lack of it) has nothing to do with your gay-ness.

But thanks to the bullshit and the lies we are fed from birth, this guy hates himself. And he doesn’t even know why. He wants to be loved, wants to find a boyfriend, but as RuPaul always says:




Ha & people think Racism Doesn’t exist…this was in 2011

“A landlord found to have discriminated against a black girl by posting a “White Only” sign at a swimming pool wants a state civil rights commission to reconsider its decision. The Ohio Civil Rights Commission found on Sept. 29 that Jamie Hein, who’s white, violated the Ohio Civil Rights Act by posting the sign at a pool at the duplex where the teenage girl was visiting her parents. The parents filed a discrimination charge with the commission and moved out of the duplex in the racially diverse city to “avoid subjecting their family to further humiliating treatment,” the commission said in a release announcing its finding. An investigation revealed that Hein in May posted on the gated entrance to the pool an iron sign that stated “Public Swimming Pool, White Only,” the commission statement said. Several witnesses confirmed that the sign was posted, and the landlord indicated that she posted it because the girl used in her hair chemicals that would make the pool “cloudy,” according to the commission.”

Yes. This really happened.

How revolting does this sign look? And yet time and again sexual racists think its ok to write “No Asians” on their profiles and hide behind the flimsy argument of “it’s just a preference”. We need signs that say NON RACISTS ONLY