(above, an infamous example of “Aussie Humour” that appeared on a television audience of roughly 15% of the population. When surveyed, a majority of “Aussies” found nothing offensive, and thought anyone who did just “didn’t understand Aussie Humour”.)

Would you like a lesson in “Aussie Humour”? If you hate racism, then you might want to listen.

“Aussie Humour” is a concept that only white Australians understand. “Aussie Humour” is a way of expressing white privilege and overt racism without suffering any consequences because, “Mate, I’m only kidding with ya, it’s just Aussie Humour!”

“Aussie Humour” is a way white Australians can perpetuate racial stereotypes. This allows them to always see non-white races as the “Other”, as “foreigners”, as “immigrants”, as “ethnics”, as “NOT Australian.”

“Aussie Humour” allows white Australians to maintain a large wide berth of distance from any person who is not white, by focussing constantly, persistently, and deliberately on the race of the non-white.

“Aussie Humour” is indoctrinated into the white population from early childhood, and aggressively forced upon new residents and citizens. If new-comers do not accept the constant references made “in jest” about their racial background, then they will not be “accepted” themselves by the white community because they “can’t take a joke”. (I know it’s a joke that the white community would accept foreign races anyway, because even if the foreign races went along with the racial slurs, they would never be truly accepted.)

I see this “Aussie Humour” all over the place. It’s a disease that has infected the whole nation. It’s so insidious that no one notices it, and if they do and object, once again the objection is derailed and dismissed because the objector obviously “doesn’t have a sense of humour.”

I was at the pool last week. It was 6am. There were about 40 people swimming (almost all white, since the area was gentrified many years ago).

One of the staff was dark skinned. Who knows where he originated from, and who cares? Why is it even an issue? It was 6am, and I was there to swim, not count the number of non-whites. But I sure as hell became aware of it his racial heritage as soon as some middle aged, fat bellied, white privileged heterosexual male yelled out, big booming smile, “Mohammed from Egypt!” Mohammed smiled and waved. The Aussie culprit was just trying to show Mohammed that he remembered him, and was trying therefore to be positive and friendly. Instead he just came across as condescending and full of white privilege.

Thing is, when I heard Mohammed talk later on, he had a very thick Australian accent, the kind that you only have IF YOU WERE BORN AND RAISED HERE. Yet to the white Australian in the pool, the entire full sum of Mohammed was that he was from Egypt (even though he was at least 2nd-generation Australian). He might be studying medicine, or law, or science, or cooking, or hairdressing, or he might even be just content working at the pool. But nothing mattered to this white guy except the country of his origin.

I know the white guy didn’t mean an offence – in his own incredibly privileged and uneducated way he was trying to make Mohammed “feel welcome”. Here’s a hint Mr White Privilege. Wanna make someone feel welcome? Don’t focus on the one aspect that will make them feel different to everyone else.¬†Mohammed isn’t from Egypt. Mohammed is from Australia. Melbourne, Australia.

Anyways, I digress. Mr White Privilege in the pool was just saying hello. But I’ve heard white Australians say, in an endearing manner, to a young man originally from Pakistan, that he was a from a family of “tea towel heads” and then laugh hysterically at their own “humour”.

The same goes for statements such as:

Terrorists and Sand Niggers (used on Arab Australians)

Coons and Abo’s (used on Aboriginal Australians)

Wogs (used on Southern Europeans)

Ya Big Poof (used on yours truly)

And the list goes on and on….

The point is, if your only subject of conversation is to focus on the individual’s point of minority, then you are ignorant, full of privilege, and most likely being extremely offensive. To laugh it off as “Aussie Humour” is to trivialise the offence and to rub salt in the wounds.