Am I A Gay Christian Nazi? Part 6

I think what I find most disturbing, however, is not your treatment of those who do identify as “straight-acting”; it is your belief that there is only one acceptable “gay culture”, loathe though I am to use the term. It is painfully apparent that you wish to ridicule and bully those men who sincerely and resolutely feel most comfortable as traditionally masculine men, regardless of whether or not they identify as “straight acting”. This is something you have sought to repeatedly deny, but it is painfully apparent in the content you post. For example, in one of your posts, you claim that anyone who “believe[s] a loving, lifelong, monogamous relationship is superior to all other forms of relationship” or “believe a person who enjoys too much sex with multiple partners is “sleazy/cheap/dirty/nasty/a sex addict” needs to “seek help today” because they “may be the subject of hetero-normative brainwashing, and by extension, you may be exhibiting homophobic attitudes without even realising it.” Countless gay men are monogamous and believe that loving, life-long relationships are the best kind of relationship for them; many more frown upon individuals who sleep around. Whilst no-one has the right to judge someone else for their lifestyle, that does not mean there is anything wrong with them – but that is what you believe. That a person who holds a reasonable moral position to your own requires help to shake off “brain-washing” – personally, your opinions sound disturbingly alike those radical right-wing Christian lobbies that champion the use of “gay-cure therapy”. Indeed, I have seen a number of pamphlets and websites in my time that use very similar phrasing to that post.

“I think what I find most disturbing, however, is not your treatment of those who do identify as “straight-acting”; it is your belief that there is only one acceptable “gay culture”. Well, now I think its your assumptions that really need to be taken to task. Not only are you “disturbed” once more, you are incredibly wrong. As stated above, I’m not a drag queen, I don’t like Lady Gaga’s music, I basically dress in jeans and a t-shirt, or gym gear, I’m built like a brick shit-house and have a shaved head and tatts. So to claim I believe there’s only one “acceptable” expression gay culture is an utter joke. The whole point of the blog, yet again, is not to say “You must be this kind of gay otherwise you are a self-hating homophobe.” What it does say is “be whoever you want to be, but stop using language that offends your fellow gay men and insults stereotypical gay culture, and start using language that at the very least doesn’t make the experience of being gay any worse than it already is for us all.” If you don’t understand that, I can’t help you. Hitler (who you basically compared me with above) might have wanted to impose his ideology onto millions of people. I, on the other hand, (not being at all Hitleresque), don’t want to impose any restrictions on the expression of any gay man, because we are, after all, so amazingly diverse. I do, however, expect that gay men stop offending members of different sub-sets of gay culture, and start being mindful of how their heteronormative conditioning is expressing itself in a destructive way through their profiles and behaviour. If you find that “disturbing”, then you are “disturbing” me.

“It is painfully apparent that you wish to ridicule and bully those men who sincerely and resolutely feel most comfortable as traditionally masculine men, regardless of whether or not they identify as “straight acting”.” This isn’t “painfully apparent” at all. I don’t wish to ridicule or bully them at all. And if they don’t use language that attacks their own community, I don’t ridicule or bully them at all. What’s becoming “painfully apparent” is that you are now ranting, rather than critiquing, about my blog. What’s also “painfully apparent” is that you are seeing things in my blog that don’t exist, because you want to be right. No matter how often you choose to repeat the term “painfully apparent”, you aren’t right.

“For example, in one of your posts, you claim that anyone who “believe[s] a loving, lifelong, monogamous relationship is superior to all other forms of relationship” or “believe a person who enjoys too much sex with multiple partners is “sleazy/cheap/dirty/nasty/a sex addict” needs to “seek help today” because they “may be the subject of hetero-normative brainwashing, and by extension, you may be exhibiting homophobic attitudes without even realising it.”” Yes, its all true. If you are monogamous and think you’re relationship type is superior, then I think you’re heteronormative conditioning is at work. If you think other types of relationships are equal to yours, then that’s a completely different story. Maybe you didn’t pick up on the subtlety of the word “superior”. That word was chosen deliberately. And yes, if you think people are sleazy, dirty, and the rest, then I think you do need to seek help today, because the slut-shaming aspect of heteronormative conditioning is at work. Can I also remind you of your above statement: “You know next to nothing of this gentleman, yet you feel as though you have the moral authority to judge his entire character.” (Yet you’ve just said it’s acceptable to judge non-monogamous couples and sluts – pot calling the kettle black syndrome.) Once again, it’s simple. If you have a “live and let live” attitude to other people’s choice of relationships or sexual proclivities, then I would not state you need to seek help removing your heteronormative conditioning. Does this make sense to you? Personally, I am monogamous. I don’t feel comfortable with the idea of open relationships. My conditioning, I believe, is at work here. But if I ever, EVER, in my life criticise the choice of another man to have an open-relationship, or to screw as many men as he possibly can, YOU have permission to shoot me in the head. Dead.

“Countless gay men are monogamous and believe that loving, life-long relationships are the best kind of relationship for them; many more frown upon individuals who sleep around. Whilst no-one has the right to judge someone else for their lifestyle, that does not mean there is anything wrong with them – but that is what you believe. That a person who holds a reasonable moral position to your own requires help to shake off “brain-washing” – personally, your opinions sound disturbingly alike those radical right-wing Christian lobbies that champion the use of “gay-cure therapy”. Indeed, I have seen a number of pamphlets and websites in my time that use very similar phrasing to that post.” So, first I’m akin to the Nazis, now I’m akin to fundamentalist cultists trying to “cure” gay people? Are you for real?! I totally reject everything you have said here. What you have just argued is that it is ok to judge people on the basis of their alternative relationships or sexual adverturism. You sayno one has the right, but then you argue that if people do judgeits ok. That is what you have just said. The root of this proclivity to judgement lies in heteronormative conditioning, plain and simple. After all your talk about this conditioning, and about people being the victim of this conditioning, then I can only point out to you that right now, you are one such victim. And far from sounding like a christian cultist, (who would be first on the line to shout down an alternative to missionary position fucking within the sanctity of a heterosexual marriage), I am in fact coming from a place where every form of consensual relationship and sexual activity is fine by me, even if it isn’t my thing, as long as it doesn’t hurt, oppress, take advantage of, or shame anyone. My suggestion is you learn to do the same. And for the record, I wrote “seek help today”, I didn’t write, “come on down to the free crazy cult-house on the corner with the big cross on the top and get your evil heteronormative demons caste out today”! Puh-lease!


stay tuned, or read the full article here.

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