Your persecution of the blog “NotYourTypicalGay” does, I rather think, say a great deal about your true opinions. You attack the blog and its creators because their blog encourages submissions from individuals who do not conform to gay stereotypes and who take pride in that fact. Certainly, there have been one or two dubious submissions (the one about not wanting to come out did rather alarm me), but the vast majority are quite reasonable. You did not criticise the submissions from gay people saying that they like conforming to stereotypes, either in general or with the mention of specific ones – on the contrary, you appear to be in favour of this, yet you claim that all others are offensive. I can only assume this is because you do not like what you perceive to be a minority expressing itself so freely; it is almost as if you are afraid of anything that would legitimise them. You are not remotely bothered by the overwhelming celebration and promotion of stereotypical gay life and attitudes that we see throughout the community, at pride events and the like. For many gay people, it is deeply comforting to know that there are similarly-minded and behaved people in their community.
“Your persecution of the blog “NotYourTypicalGay” does, I rather think, say a great deal about your true opinions. You attack the blog and its creators because their blog encourages submissions from individuals who do not conform to gay stereotypes and who take pride in that fact.” It’s great “you rather think” what you think, but I believe your arguments here are another embarrassing moment for you. And your use of the word “persecution” is also telling (it implies a victim mentality, when the actual events that lead to my argument with these guys tells a very different story to the “bully-victim” paradigm you would like to present). Firstly, I approached the people who ran this NOT YOUR TYPICAL GAY blog privately, because I have received a lot of complaints about it. Our emails were incredibly unproductive. Unfortunately there are a lot of posts on that blog that are an insult to stereotypical gay men. Once again, I will try to get the logic clear for you: there is nothing wrong if you do not identify as a stereotypical gay man. There is, however, a lot wrong if your only way of expressing your non-stereotypicalness is by implying there is something negative about being the stereotypical gay man (something the hetero-world never stops doing). The two guys at NOT YOUR TYPICAL GAY claim they attempting to stop homophobia and create a community forum, however they will take no responsibility for the damaging posts they are enabling. They try to distance themselves from this damage by stating “we didn’t write it, we are just putting up what people sent us in”. Which would be totally fine, if the purpose of their blog was simply to gauge current opinions/trends from the gay community. But that is not the established “mission statement” of their blog. You said it yourself: people who do not conform to stereotypes and take pride in that fact. Those very words are the problem I keep talking about. The imply a disgust for the stereotypical gay man. Yes – take pride in yourself. But if the only thing you are proud about is not being a “stereotypical queen, femme, girly boy, hairdresser, flight attendant, dancer etc etc” then the truth is you’re insecure about yourself. And the other truth is you’re insulting every other gay man who identifies with something stereotypical. Which sucks. I think that’s where you are really coming from, with all your faux-rationalness, what I am really dealing with here is a person who simply does not like non-masculinity in others, and is quite happy to support and defend language from insecure people who can only make themselves feel better by ridiculing stereotypical gay men.
You are, my good sir, no different than those you criticise so harshly. In some ways you are better than them; in some ways you are worse. Please, by all means, treat me with the same ridicule, childish vulgarity and derision you do your other critics. I will read any reply you opt to publish, but I promise no reply – with respect, I have wasted enough time as it is.
Actually, I’m completely different from those I criticise. And I’m completely different from you. I won’t treat you with ridicule, because that’s what you want me to do. You want to be justified for these opinions of yours. I just think my blog and my opinions cut too close to the bone for you, and that’s exactly what I want. As for saying I treat people who criticise me with childish vulgarity, I think that’s quite off the mark once again. I have, in the course of my blog, offended trans* and bisexual people (unknowingly) due to language that did not take into account how they would feel reading it. I’ve always apologised immediately and edited out such remarks. I will do the same with any constructive criticism and feedback.
As a final thought, though, it is very disappointing that you have done a “hit and run” post, and stating that you will not enter into further discussion. So what was this then, just a rant or tantrum? Furthermore, you have not offered a single alternative to my methodology, you have not offered a single solution or productive comment about what I could be doing better. All it has been is an attack, a whinge. If you agree with what I say about gay racism and the use of terms like “straight acting”, and if we are on the same page as to the causes and effects of heteronormative conditioning, then surely you can offer me some ideas as to how you would counter such things. If you could do better, then do so – start your own blog and combat it. That would be preferable to just coming here anonymously, psychoanalysing me (incorrectly), and then doing a runner.