Use of the word “homophobic”

canabisexual:

I was surfing Tumblr last night, and people were ratting on others on gay dating/chat sites saying that guys who say that they “don’t want femmes” and “aren’t into limp-wrists” are homophobic or self-hating.

…No.

There’s nothing wrong with being cisgender and attracted to other cisgender people. It would make sense that someone looking for a same-sex relationship is looking for many same-sex attributes in their partner.

It is homophobic to attribute your personal characteristics to an entire group of people, just so that you feel more comfortable. You’re very obviously the self-hating person, looking for validation in other peoples’ “searching for” criteria.

Get over yourself. Not everyone wants you, or even has to like you. Quit judging other people.

My god can people get this subject so incredibly wrong. So often you hear defences to internalised homophobia like the ones above. These guys keep putting words in our mouths, and it’s pathetic.

Where has anyone said “It is wrong for cis gender people to be attracted to other cis gender people”? I would laugh if what this person had written wasn’t so fucked up.

Cis gender people can be attracted to whoever they like. But if they can’t express what they attracted TO, and instead can only describe in their profiles what they ARE NOT attracted to, then they are treating people like crap. GET IT?

So, if said cis gender gay man can write “I’m looking for masculine men”, then they are not being homophobic. But if said cis gender man writes “No femmes, no queens, no girlie guys, don’t flap your wrists” then they are using homophobic language and will be labeled a homophobe.

If you are so insecure that you can’t express what you are attracted to without insulting members of your own community, then you have serious problems and really should be taking a good look at yourself.

Can that be put into any clearer language?

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