Just Your Average Guy?


Why do so many gay men sell themselves on-line as ‘just your average guy’?

When you’ve got so few words to present yourself, why would you want to say that you’re just like every other fella?

I asked a guy on a site that question and he said it was a selling point. He thought it would make him more appealing.

So many gay guys want blend in. If the price is their individuality, the playing down of their talents, then it’s a cost they’re willing to pay. Especially if it finds them a partner.

Whatever happened to wanting to be exceptional?

If anyone who achieved exceptional feats had dumbed themselves down instead, so many great inventions or social movements wouldn’t have happened. We probably wouldn’t have invented the wheel.

Is it the psychological price we are paying for wanting to be embraced by the mainstream? The nub is we’re not mainstream, we’re gay. That doesn’t mean we’re not normal, it just means we’re not straight.

It’s a no-brainer but obviously it doesn’t feel that way for some guys. I don’t want to put them down. That would make me a homophobe. But I think it’s worth challenging. Otherwise the gay community stagnates.

If the people who uprose at Stonewall said, “Actually, I just want to blend in”, then that social movement wouldn’t have happened.

If the feminist movement had said, “We just want to be good wives, so let’s not worry about our rights”, then we probably wouldn’t even have the pill.

It’s okay to want acceptance but if the price is giving up what makes us unique, then is it worth it?

We can still have respect without compromising our self respect.

I don’t want to be your average guy. Because I’m not.